Contemporary discussion seems to always pit the stay at home mom against the working mom. Read about the journey of a former stay at home mom who became a single working mom.

Today’s post is from a local bloggy friend of mine, Alicia from Fun Reviews and Giveaways. We met through MomCentral’s Chick-Fil-A Moms group, when we discovered that we (along with two others) lived in Virginia. Then, we both participated in our local Food Lion Frugal Cookoff. We will soon be promoting, attending, and reviewing a local show of Disney Live! Pirate & Princess Adventure. I have a feeling this is going to be a fun friendship. Take it away Alicia…

I’m Alicia and I own the blog Fun Reviews and Giveaways. I was asked to write a post about being a single working mom.

I am separated from my husband as of June 2013, and in August I got a job in a daycare facility working 25 – 27 hours a week. 

My kids had never been inside of a daycare until I got my job, and they’re 5 and 6 years old.

Can you describe the transition from being a stay at home mom to being a working mom? The transition from being a stay at home mom for 5 1/2 years to a working mom 25 – 27 hours a week was not easy at all. I left an abusive marriage which still is trying to be controlled by my husband sometimes, and felt it best to leave and get a job to support my kids and I. I was contacted by an old school friend that her mom was a director at a Christian daycare and to come apply for a job if I still needed one, so that morning I went to apply for the job and within 3 days I got the job, likely because I knew her mom and family very well for 15 years. I love my job but miss being with my kids as often as I was before as a stay at home mom. My kids thankfully love the daycare too, so it makes the transition a bit easier. It seems that having a supportive family, co workers, and friends is imperative for the success of you and your children. What types of things do you lean on them for?

I lean on my family and friends for prayer and help when it comes to what I should do in terms of divorce vs not, and 9 times out of 10 the answer is clear that unless he shows a drastic change, the best solution is divorce. I hate divorce, but I don’t feel like I have ever had a good marriage so I find it best for kids and I to follow through with it in June.

You said “I loved the life as a stay at home mom. I taught my kids the majority of what they know now.” – how do you try to keep some of that learning going?

As a stay at home mom, I taught my kids a lot of things that they’d need to know for when they begin school. My son started school in fall of 2013 and is doing a lot better with things he had been having issues with learning. I try to spend as much time as I can after work with my kids on the days that I have them and don’t have to go get them from their dad’s house, and I do reading with them in the evening as I can. My son has a reading log that he has to do through each month, so once we have filled the page up with the books we have read, I send the paper in with him and his teacher checks it off and he gets a prize.

What did you love the most?

My favorite thing about being a stay at home mom was the time I was able to spend with them all day long, playing with their toys with them, as well as making learning fun for when they start school, as well as just the bonding time I had with them from being home all day / evening with them.

Have you continued any traditions or routines that you used to follow with the kids (when you were a stay at home mom)?

I have tried to keep the same routine with my kids when it comes to reading, watching movies together, and doing fun things as we are able to as a family.

How has your confidence grown in being financially independent?

My confidence has grown a bit in myself knowing that I am completely able to take care of my kids and I financially without the help of my husband. Of course, I don’t have the expense of rent or bills yet, as I am trying to save money to be able to get an apartment eventually so right now I am making monthly payments on our vehicle and setting aside money for our needs and apartment fund. It’s nice to have a job, but I wish I was still able to be a stay at home mom but know that isn’t possible right now or anytime soon, so I make the best of it and leave the rest to God.

A Typical Day

My son is in kindergarten so he goes to the daycare from school until I get off work at 5:30 on my days, and on his dad’s days he leaves with him right after 2:45 or so. My daughter is in the pre k class at the daycare, so she mainly just goes with me when I go to work at noon, unless I am needed earlier. It’s not easy, but it’s doable. At least both of my kids love their teachers and the kids they interact with there for the most part. I work in the infant room with ages 7 weeks – 9 months old.

Plans for the Future

I live with my parents, sister, and my kids of course. I have only worked 10 months out of 6 years until I had to get a job in 2013 to support kids and I. I loved the life as a stay at home mom. I taught my kids the majority of what they know now. It wasn’t an easy adjustment. In November, I put a down payment on a 2001 Nissan Sentra car and I make payments each month on it until it is paid off. It’s kind of nice to say I pay for my own car for the first time, not relying on someone else to. I am hoping that by 2015 we can get an apartment near my son’s school if I can find a full time job by then. I am hoping to find one in August after my daughter starts school. I am not the best at budgeting money, but I am going to have to be to save enough money for an apartment for us. I have a very supportive family, co workers, and friends.

Find Alicia at Fun Reviews and Giveaways, Pinterest, and Google+.

Original Photo Credit: D. Sharon Pruitt

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